Combatting Anxiety and Decision-Fatigue with Ruthless Simplicity

It all starts with budgeting your time by living within your emotional means.

Identify your non-negotiables for saying "yes" or "no"

If you're tired of having a constant feeling of guilt whenever you say yes or no to something, there's a good chance you have not taken the time to identify your priorities for what is most important for you to give your time and attention to.

When we don't have a clear sense of where we are going to put our best time and energy, it usually ends up being decided for us.

You get asked to help out with this committee.

You're invited to that event.

Your boss wants you to create a last minute report on a Friday afternoon.

Your mom wants you to stop by to help with something again today.

When you have identified goals and priorities for how and when you and your family are going to spend your time, these requests go from guilt-ridden doubts and resentment-laden answers to a clear and confident yes or no.

Think of it like Dave Ramsey's "every dollar" budgeting method. In this method, you pre-plan where every dollar of your budget is going to go each month. That way, when the money comes in, it is already earmarked for something, so the chance of your money getting used up by impulse purchases and unexpected expenses becomes a lot less likely.

Budgeting your time works the same way.

In Matthew 5:37, Jesus tells us, "let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one."

Why would anything beyond a simple yes or no be from the evil one? Because confusion, doubt, and the need to over-explain comes from the desire to please people or a desire for other people's approval.

If you know that every Friday night is family night, it becomes an easy "no" when a work friend asks you to go along to an event.

If you prayerfully decide to serve on one committee this year and you're not yet signed up for one, you can search out a good fit, rather than feeling caught off guard when someone asks you to serve on something that doesn't match your gifting.

The idea is for you to determine how your time will be spent based on Christ as the center of your life. When you do that, you are no longer just trying to keep up day to day and week to week.

Ruthlessly edit your schedule.

To help create your "time budget", list out everything you did last month (or keep a log tracking everything you do for the next month).

Divide a piece of paper into 4 parts. Write one of these titles at the top of each part:

1. Absolutely Essential

2. Important but Not Essential

3. Helpful but Not Necessary

4. Trivial

Now put every activity you wrote down from the month into one of these categories. (When you do this, approach it from the perspective of your true purpose here on earth as someone who was created by God and as a follower of Christ. Take time to pray about it, read scripture, and ask yourself, "what truly matters?")

Here's the step that's going to make all the difference:

For the following month, eliminate everything in sections 3 and 4.

Then eliminate at least 20% of section 2.

Revisit section 1 and ask yourself if everything in there is indeed "absolutely essential." If not, eliminate anything that is not, in fact, essential.

And remember, things like a good night of sleep, playing with your kids in the backyard, and sitting on the porch swing every evening with your husband can all be considered "absolutely essential". If these are the kinds of things that you are not experiencing regularly because of other busyness, it's all the more important that you begin to prioritize those moments and relationships in your life.

Once you do this for a month or two, you'll soon realize that all of those things that seem so necessary and urgent might not actually need to be part of your life.

You can then look at section 1 and determine what your non-negotiables are, making it all the easier to say an emphatic yes or no to life's opportunities.

If you're married, do this with your husband. You can even invite the kids to help create your time budget each month. This way everyone is on the same page and you are working together to cultivate the family dynamic and lifestyle you want as a family.

Want Help Simplifying Your Lifestyle?

I would love to walk with you through whatever challenges you're experiencing.

I offer Christian Counseling for Women in downtown Chambersburg, PA, convenient to Greencastle, Waynesboro, and Shippensburg. I also offer online therapy across the state of Pennsylvania.

I provide therapy for: Anxiety, stress, relationship strain, self-worth, depression, boundaries, and healing from the past.

Call 717-263-7758 to get started with our office manager Leah. Let her know you would like to be scheduled with me. She will take some basic information, and I will then call you to discuss your needs and schedule your appointment. 

Or email me at: agrimes@pathwayscs.com