Boundaries + Relationships

Christian counseling for women in Chambersburg & throughout Pennsylvania

You've been dealing with this for so long, you're not even sure what "normal" looks like anymore. You're starting to feel like maybe you're the crazy one.

Toxic relationships come in many forms and stem from many underlying unhealthy beliefs about ourselves, others, and God.

If you're struggling with a difficult, toxic, or destructive relationship, welcome. You're in the the right place.

You know it shouldn't be like this

You’re stressed, overwhelmed, irritable, anxious, and depressed. You’ve become so used to the dysfunction in your relationship that you’re not sure what’s normal anymore.

When you’re treated wrong, you turn the other cheek. You feel taken advantage of, but you’re not sure what to do differently. When you do try to stand up for yourself, it just seems to make matters worse.

You’re constantly sacrificing your own needs and desires to please the other person.

In an effort to take back some control and escape from the stress, you turn to food, binge watching, napping too long, or zoning out on Instagram.

You’re not sure how to deal with the toxic relationship in your life in a way that honors God. You know you can’t continue on like this, but you don’t know what God wants from you in this.

While we are called to love with a servant’s heart, we are not meant to reinforce sin in others and call it love.

Sometimes the best way to love others is to set boundaries

Unhealthy relationships come in many forms:

an unhealthy, destructive, or abusive marriage
a parent who is overbearing or continues to say and do hurtful things
a friend who is manipulative, overly-needy, or has betrayed you
an adult child that is disrespectful or overly dependent on you
Coworkers or a boss who take advantage of you

We are often taught to be people-pleasers from early on, and the church often reinforces the expectation of putting others’ needs before our own.

But as followers of Christ, we are to serve others out of our love for Him, not out of a compulsion to please others or out of fear of how a person will react if we don’t do what they want.

If you’re dealing with an unhealthy or toxic relationship, I want to invite you to learn to develop healthy boundaries in a way that holds true to who you are in Christ.

You can love others well with healthy boundaries in place. In fact, that may be the best way to love them.

Imagine feeling the confidence - spiritually and personally - to establish and stick to boundaries with those who repeatedly hurt or take advantage of you.

You could let go of the pressure to live up to another person’s expectations, feeling the need to over-explain yourself, or trying to get them to understand what they’re doing wrong.

Using scripture as a guide, you can learn to protect yourself from toxic relationships and start experiencing the freedom Christ has for you.

Cultivating a life led by your identity in Christ releases the anxiety, frustration, depression, and other stressors that come from living a life based on the fear of other people.

Imagine having the space to cultivate healthy, deep relationships, because your time and energy are no longer being taken up by toxic or destructive people.

You could have time to devote to those things God is leading you toward, rather than being consumed by the things other people are bogging you down with.

Setting boundaries with others, as well as with yourself, can free you up to live more fully in the peace, joy, and purpose God has for you.

How I can help

In Christ, there is freedom from toxic relationships and unhealthy methods of coping.

I use a Christian-based Cognitive Behavioral model of counseling that helps you replace thoughts and beliefs that lead to people-pleasing and toxic relationships with the truth of God’s word.

The source of change is the Holy Spirit, and the ultimate goal is to become more like Jesus and live according to His will. This means placing our identity, purpose, desires, and strength in Him.

Using knowledge and skills from biblical counseling methods, I help you uncover the barriers that are keeping you in these relationships and unhealthy cycles, so you can find freedom through approaching them from a biblical perspective.

Even though you’re seeking Christian counseling, I know that, for a variety of reasons, you might not feel ready to jump right into scripture or even prayer. You want to believe God’s promises, but you might be in a place where you’re angry with God or doubt His love for you. I will meet you where you are spiritually to gently lead you toward the truth of His word.

We will work together in session as you learn and apply new skills to shift your thoughts and behaviors toward living aligned with your values, identity, and purpose as a Christian.

Between sessions, you will put these skills into practice.

Working both in and between sessions will help you see results faster and enable you to experience long term results.

I know you’re ready and willing to do what it takes, you just need the support and guidance to take the right steps forward. And I would love to help you do that.

You may be struggling with a close family member or a husband and are afraid of what setting boundaries might do to the relationship.

Setting boundaries does not mean suddenly being overly-assertive, threatening, or telling the person everything they’re doing wrong.

It is much more about setting your own personal boundaries, inviting others to respect them, and letting them know what they can expect if they don’t. You can set boundaries in love, and, in fact, it may even help the other person to begin to develop healthier ways of interacting.

There are times, however, that it may be best to end a relationship that continues to be destructive. Counseling gives you the opportunity to explore the best options in your unique situation and take the best next steps for you.

Maybe you have tried to set boundaries before, but it didn’t work, and you keep getting sucked back into the unhealthy cycles of the relationship.

Destructive relationships often have times that seem like things are getting better, so it’s easy to let up on boundaries you’ve set when it seems like someone has changed.

Counseling can help you learn more effective ways of setting and sticking to the boundaries, while planning for barriers and pitfalls you might encounter.

It can also help you identify what would need to happen for you to trust that the person has actually changed. You will learn how to successfully begin to remove boundaries when you feel the time is right without undermining your own personal expectations.

If this sounds like just what you need, get started today by clicking the button to fill out a brief question and schedule your free consultation call.

CLICK TO GET STARTED

If you know a Christian woman who could benefit from counseling because she is struggling with a toxic relationship or people-pleasing, please share this page with her, so she can start her journey toward wholeness and healing through the promises of God's word.